hiatus - return - update

well I have been on a seemingly longer than normal hiatus. Do yu forgive me? I kno yu miss having yur brain cells tickled and tainted. Lol!
However, I am actually in the midst of a bunch of different projects, and getting my life together seems to be a pretty enormous project. But, thanks to my family and friends, I have not lost hope.
Another project is getting a new tool for my love of capturing lifes most precious moments.
No, I do not need a new brain! I need a new camera, duuh!
Altho that prolly wouldn't be so bad, a new brain huh?
But I dnt need it.
So I think.
Well anyway, a few things have taken place snc my last dialouge to myself and the most remarkable is the shaving of my head!
YESSSSSSS, I KNOOOOOOO !
Its painful but it had to be done. I became a part of society
FRIDAY MARCH 13th!
I had to force and convince myself to be strong and tell myself I was "doing the right THING" as spike lee would put it ! it was an extremely vigorous process in just deciding, but the conclusion stood. I was currently turned down from a pretty good job position, and from my understanding, my hair had to do a lot with the decision. I AM NOT MY HAIR! It will grow back ya know. I wasn't balding or anything. I may even decide to grow my locks back in a few years or NOT. That job incident was kinda jus the icing on the cake ya kno?
After that I jus felt like they may be burdening me a lil bit. That is all I need right now in this economy, is to be burdened for somehing as minor as HAIR.
So I am now dwn to a brush cut. Its okay. I'm actually startin to like it a lil bit. I brush it a lot and I sleep with a wave cap. Lol!
This may all sound like a walk in the park unless yu have grown yur locks for over 5 years and then cut them off!
Its difficuuuult !
A process, a stage, adjusting. My head is literally EMPTY!
So ION (in other news) ......

I'm... Moving soon, hopefully.

And

I have met a few GREAT ppl here in GA. These few ppl have strengths that makes me stronger everyday. They have become a family. Well coming from my definition of family, they couldn't be more important to my life. There when I need/want anything. Makes me smile, makes me happy, pisses me off, picks me up from wrk, make my day better, and the whole 9.

And

I'm getting a new tatto....
Idunno when....
I do kno its gonna be under my moms name on my back. Its gonna be a lions head, which is a picture of the meaning of my name HAMZA. My name is also a symbol in the arabic alphabet, so its gonna kinda look as if the lion has the symbol embroided on his 4head.
Dope, right ?

I still buy a damm magazine everytime I enter a store that sells them. So If yu guys ever wanted to show yur appreciation for bein my friend (ROFLMAO) yu can get me a subscription to like GQ, Mens Health, Complex, NYLON for men & NYLON, Details, or any other fashion mag yu kno of.

Ummmmmm. How bout I stop here?

PEACE &lOVE.

living it thru

WELCOME...

to adulthood. to priorities & priotitizing. to choices. right & wrong could determine your life.

WELCOME...

to not having anyone telling you what to do, except for the ones who has some type of input on how yur gonna get rent paid; ergo your managers. to being too tired to go out because you have jus wrkd a 12 hr shift. to LiFE.

i noticed yesterday that adulthood consists of trial after each tribulation. if you dnt deserve a moment in life where everything seems to be going GRRREAT, then trust & believe you will not receive one.

if you show appreciation & give yurself props for accomplishing little shit & being thankful for being alive, once you sit dwn & actually evaluate yur situation, you will see yur actually doin pretty good for yurself.

you cant help but love it. the freedom, the tests, the adrenaline rush of not knowing if the choice yur making is gonna kick you lower into the slums or the pleasure of enjoying the outcome if you make the correct decision.

i cant speak for everyone but i know im greatly appreciative of being alive, appreciative of the tests & everything im put through on a day to day basis. i kno its jus getting me ready for something bigger & .making me stronger.

yes, i wish i was ensconced by my family & friends whom i trust with my decisions, but im not & its a great feeling.

now onto those whom are a part of this adulthood but are not acting the part. yur not doing anything but making things more difficult for yourself. the weak ass job yur wrking that isn't enuff to bring to whomevers table yur eating at, lying & being deceitful, putting on facads because you feel as though you wont be accepted but getting figured out, etc. etc.
most likely you are the ones hating life, wishing wishing wishing, seein no outcome, & wondering why.
you have to accept the fact that you don't have a better job, accept the fact that nothing seems to be going your way. NOTHING in life is free. NOTHING.

anything you want or even wish for, you have to work for it. expecting too much or too little is jus more pressure to endure on yur behalf. if you think yur wrkn hard & getting no outcome, work harder. no such thing as wrkn TOO hard when you have to take care of yurself.

what are you doing exactly?
maybe you need to find another approach?
are you approaching the correct situations?

ask yurself theez things, see what yur doing right & what yur doing wrong, change things.

its all a struggling process we have to go thru. so dnt look dwn on everything & dnt make everything out to be a problem or like its done to you.

you are put thru everything for a reason & its done for you, not to you.

WElCOME.

PEACe &l O Ve

chek this out

MTV Shows

writers block

itsz like having a hand cold & a brain fart all at once.
great ideas but no idea for beginnings or endings.

how do you rid yourself of this horrid disease ?
is there even a cure ?

i have tried random writings to see if a flow will erect in my time of need. NOPE.

i ride the friggin train in ATL every friggin day. itsz always sumthing to blog about but my hands wont let me. its killing me. tormenting me.

i havent watched too much tv kuz i have yet to get to that part of progress in my crib.
so as far as entertainment, imLOST, left behind, in the clouds, clueless.

i do have magazines tho. i have yet to find a COMPLEX mag in my area, which i think is a sign for me to get a subscriprion.
i jus subscribed to PAPER mag like a few weeks ago & still havent received a conformation or nuthin, so i think i need to look into that.

i need to get out some more as well. i think if im on the scene i will be more up on what's the HAPPENING.

well hopefully i get over this friggin sickness & can give you guys something good for this wknd.

one idea i do have is to revamp my whoooole blog. make it more relevent.
so stay tuned & bare with me guys. i got you. i promise.

as for right now ....

"I AM SOMEBODY
I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
I AM RESPOSIBLE FOR MY BEHAVIOR
I AM SOMBODY."
MISS. JERIDEAU
5TH GRADE TEACHER.

i just thought about this & how true it is.

we have so many people blaming others for THEIR lives.

"its the white man thats keepin us down"
"my parents weren't there for me"

when in all actuality its you that's keepin you down.
its you that's not believing in yourself.

its like your self esteem.

KAT WILLIAMS said it best.
" how the fuck can you let someone mess up yur self esteem? its esteem of yo self."

your parents not being there for you,
that was their job.

if tey didnt do it then you do for you
what they should have done.

make it right, make it work,
make it happen.

or.....
DONT.

crashconomy 101

so, wut you do is, fake a severe heart attack after you having pumped yur gas.
not sure what signs a heart attack intels but you wont have to pay for gas.

thats evidently what the economy is coming to.

let me fill you in, jus in case you havent heard about the guy who faked a heart attack at a restaurant to avoid paying a $23 bill.

i wonder how the waitress reacted.?
just imagine.

"uh uh nigga, you better fall all over the fckng floor after you gimme my damm TIP!" while reaching for his pockets. LoL !

well, it was a good try i guess.

now he has a 10K fine to pay & faces up to 9 mnths behind bars where they do NOT serve $23 meals.

fortunately, they dnt ask for tips either.

poor guy. all because he prolly wanted to put that damm $23 in his gas tank to get home.
which by the way was prolly bout 5 minutes away. LoL !

i prolly woulda tried sumthin similar so i wnt even pass judgement, especially with the places that actually have gas here in GA, the prices are reDUNKulous.
QT is $4.10 a gal.
BP is $4.50 a gal.

WTF?!
and they have the nerve to wonder why people are faking heart attacks & fighting on 3 hour lines waiting for some dam gas.

jus imagine being in your car alone for 3 hours waiting to spend your last 20 on 4 gallons of gas. can you imagine the anger & frustration in that little scenerio ?

i have seen a gas attendant get his life threatened, a man and a woman fighting [fist fighting btw] because the man cut the woman in line, and i have waited in a line for 3 hours to be the next to pump gas & the person right in front gets the last bit of gas.

talk about being peeved.

we are in a time that most definetly is going in the HISTORY books.

so much wrong & not enough right to cover up some of the wrong.

lets all just vote OBAMA.


p.s. - i jus realized how much i like STRIPEs.

GAS

i wonder if after this situation with the economy is over, will people continue to take these commodities for granted.

can you imagine how the countries who are used to a limited supply of such a necessity to us feels now?

the places who have to live w/o water, electricity; GAS, the things we have taken for granted for so long & have unlimited amounts to waste, others cherich the small amounts they have.

WE HAVE NO GAS !

that means everything that runs off gas can either fall out of existance or become so expensive that we are unable to afford them!

lawn mowers, scooters, motor cycles, or most importantly CARS.
what about airplanes, buses, trains, or even more important, our homes.

just imagine how hectic & insane public transportation would be.
what about food?

this can cause a riot. desperate times leads to desperate measures.

gas stations are packed beyond capacity, some are even limiting you to a certain amount of gas. some are even out.

HOW in the hell are we out of gas ?